it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
