he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
