eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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