oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I forget how to act sober
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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