I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
i believe in u and ur pee
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