did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
