Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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