meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize