he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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