sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
