im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
