Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
