Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
