I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
