.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize