Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
