yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
