i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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