after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
