Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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