I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
