Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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