the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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