there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
