so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
