She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
