I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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