I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
