I think i sorta joined a cult last night
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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