I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
