As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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