So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize