i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
