the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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