WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
