last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
