You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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