so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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