Got a toothbrush?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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