absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
