Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
