But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize