Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
