With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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