How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just gargled with NyQuil
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
