Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize