Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
