Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
