3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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