ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
