What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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