She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
