All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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