how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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