Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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