Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He kissed a someone with a penis
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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