Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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