ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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