Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
