STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
